I only wish this was a Halloween post. Contains disturbing images… of a certain tiny-fingered, cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon. And swears. When I was 15, The Exorcist was hands down the scariest fucking thing I’d ever seen. Now, I’m no lightweight when it comes to horror and suspense movies, but I’d had no idea what I was…
Tag: scared shitless
I’m Doing CrossFit and Haven’t Died Yet.
So one stinking hot summer morning back in January, obviously suffering from heatstroke, I signed up for an 8 week CrossFit challenge. As I said in my last post, I’d been trying for years to get my fitness back but for various reasons it wasn’t really working. Week One: Saturday morning rocked up at Urban Energy Fitness for registration and weigh-in….
Cross I’m Not Fit.
Disclaimers: Not sponsored, contains some naughty language, and might get slightly ranty. OMG am I writing a health/fitness/wellness post? Someone slap me in the face with a packet of Tim Tams. Don’t worry, it’s not that kind of post. I’m not trying to offer any wellness wisdom. I actually get sort of pissed off reading about other people’s health habits,…
Depression is a LYING SCUMBAG.
Just in case the title wasn’t obvious enough, this is not my usual kind of post. No amusing stories or pretty pictures or even toilet humour… well there will be some pictures as I can’t seem to help myself. There are also some swears. Not very many, but enough. It’s something I’ve felt the need to write about for…
1.21 GIGAWATTS!?!?
Yesterday was *mostly* boring as we had to stay indoors – Rory had kinesiology for his allergy to our tallow wood blossoms on Monday and needed to avoid them for 25 hours afterwards. I didn’t want to go anywhere as we’ve been out heaps this holidays (playdates to the movies and the beach, Swell Festival, Oz…
Kodak Moments Part 2: Mummy Cuddles.
Part 2 of my belated Mum’s Day post. Part 1 was more about the funner, happier, more positive side of parenting – the stuff that’s usually the focus on Mother’s Day; the stories of cute kids, and happy families, and warm fuzzies. … And farts. As long as they’re funny and without fallout. This one, though, is about…
Things That Go Bump In The Night.
***WARNING AGAIN!! Especially for you, Justine. Freaky-ass kids alert.** Have your kids ever scared the crap outta you? Mine have. I don’t mean when they’re doing something dangerous and I’m fretting they’ll hurt themselves, or those times when they have hurt themselves and I’m terrified it’s serious – not that kind of scared. I mean that hackles-raising, cold-sweat-inducing, IS-THIS-MY-CHILD-OR-SOME-KIND-OF-DEMON-SPAWN…
Hilarious Or Horrifying? You Decide.
Warning: This post is funny as Hell… to me. You might find it funny (that’s why I’m sharing it), find it distinctly UNfunny (more likely) or even downright terrifying. I’ve been wanting to write a Halloween post but I don’t have any awesome spooky tales to tell, so this is just something that happened while I…
Spiders And Geckos And Snakes…Oh My God.
It feels like we’re living in a zoo at the moment. I’m not having a go at the boys, who are mostly very well behaved and quite easy to live with. Despite endlessly dropping stuff on the floor, leaving doors open, losing things, screaming matches, the cycles of delaying tactics at dinnertime, bathtime, bedtime… if…
A Small Essay On Why I’m Here, To Possibly Answer Your Question; “Why Am I Here?”
So I’ve wanted to start a blog for a while – and I want it to be frickin awesome. (At least, not total shit.) I’ve always loved to write but never thought of myself as a ‘writer’… then I watched Sister Act 2 again. (*reader groans and says what the?* …Stay with me for a sec.)…
Okay. I’m here. Now what do I do?
Aaargh how do I change the stupid header photo? Where do I put my favourite blogs list? How do I upload a photo…ah there you go. Hey it’s not very big, I hope it turns out bigger than that. I hope this blog looks more expensive than what it actually costs, which is nothing. Lets…
Still Not A Journal. 